Day 8

She was taken off the drip last night after we left and given an injection to help purge water from her lungs. A sub-cut was also given this morning to help her fight dehydration.

The vets took another X-ray of her lungs and heart this morning. There was water surrounding her lungs, causing them not to be able to expand fully. Her heart had also grown abnormally larger so as to pump more blood through her body.

The prognosis was not good. It could be her heart defect which caused the kidneys to fail and also ultimately the water in her lungs. And because the kidneys begin to fail, her heart had to work harder. It is just a big circular reference with no real solution in sight.

As she is no longer on the drip, she can probably be discharged early next week but she will have to take medication for her heart and kidneys. But dehydration will be an issue. We may have to give her a sub-cut at home.

We are not sure how many more days she will have with us. We know it is a dead end for her. There seems to be no more hope. She is not eating and drinking on her own and this compounds the problem. I hope she can at least get past her 7th birthday which is in 6 months time but I think it is probably just a dream. I am not even sure if she can clear 30 Jun.

But if she is to leave us, I would rather at home in familiar surroundings with the gang and us around her. I think she will feel better this way.

She is not in pain now but as her organs start failing one by one, I know we may have to send her on her way to reduce her suffering. We would never want our little girl to suffer needlessly.

I asked the Wife if she had a good life with us. She said she doesn't know. She could have been adopted by another household and her life may have been very different. She may then not have contracted this illness. Or she may have, if her heart defect is genetic.

I choose to think she had a good life with us. She had been a very energetic and mischievious kitten, often driving the Wife up the wall with her abundance of energy. By the time I manage to reach home after work, she would be worn out and would curl into a little fur ball in my arms.

And as she grew, she became very attached to us and us to her. Because we have 5 cats in the household, she learnt to find snippets of time to have our undivided attention. In the morning when the gang is busy eating their breakfast, she would just have a few kibbles before dashing into the bedroom waiting for the Wife to come out from the bathroom. The Wife will then spend the next half hour or so talking and stroking her while she does her make up and changes into her working clothes.

And when it is my turn to get out of the bathroom, she will already be on the bed, meowing softly away as she waits for her usual pat on her head and a few head butts. It is also the time of the day when I will tell her what a good girl she has been while I change. When we say "Xin Xin, let's go", she knows that is time for her to leave the room and she will obediently walk out without any fuss or objection.

I think she sleeps the day away waiting for our return at night as she will always be the first to greet us. She will push her little head past the door opening waiting for me to pat her before rushing to the main gate to check. I always think she is checking if we had brought home another cat which will mean another competitor to fight for our affection.

I know we will miss her very much.