Sunday, April 16, 2006

Top story: Nation torn apart by invasion

▶ Live report from Paper Nation

▶ Additional reporting by Daddy (2005 winner of the Puleetzer Award, Journalism category)
▶ Photos by Daddy (2003 winner of the World Prezz Photo Award, War category)

The residents of the Living Room were jolted out of their beds last night at 3.37am when General Yuan “Shi Kai” Yuan launched an unantagonised surprise attack on the Paper Nation.

Rumour has been brewing for some time now when General Yuan Yuan would be planning to launch the next wave of attack since her last attack in March 2006. Residents have been prepared for the worst but the time lag between the 2 attacks have lulled all into a sense of complacency.

It has been reported that sentries on duty were fast asleep when General Yuan Yuan got into position at 3.21am and inched her way towards the Island of the Brochures resting on top of the coffee table. The first wave of attack came fast and furious as General Yuan Yuan pounded her adversary with continuous artillery rounds of Fo Shan Wu Ying Paws before sending in her well trained infantry division, the Snaring Fangs of Royal Canin, to destroy the last few pockets of resistance. These crack troops have been sent to many countries for various training and are most adept at Search & Destroy missions. They have featured in all of General Yuan Yuan’s attacks and have a much feared 100% success rate.

The Island of Brochures torn beyond recognition

The Island of the Brochures was defeated in 5 minutes before General Yuan Yuan launched a second wave of attack on the mainland of the Paper Nation on top of the dining table. The attack on the Island had alerted the sleepy Paper sentries and citizens tried to flee from the marauding Paws and Fangs. It was a relentless assault as her troops tore apart the whole country. It has been reported that some citizens of the Paper Nation have managed to escape to the neighbouring country of The Kitchen but not before suffering certain injury.

The attack has put all neighbouring countries on high military alert but some weaker countries still appear shaken by the attack.

Bon Bon of Peaceful Nation witnessed the invasion and has been scared speechless by the force of the brutal assault. She has been in hiding despite her nation being spared the massacre.

General Yuan Yuan has justified her attack by adamantly insisting that the Paper Nation has WMDs and that it is planning on invading the Living Room any time soon. Additional investigation and probing by various parties and this reporter have however not found any WMDs possessed by the Paper Nation.

General Yuan Yuan: I’ll say it again. Paper Nation has WMDs.



Blogger cat_aunty said...

If you didn't tell me, I would have thought YuanYuan was a tomcat, for she looked so ferocious! She has a lovely marking on her forehead.

9:21 PM, April 17, 2006  
Blogger calsifer said...

All hail the GREAT general Yuan!

1:25 PM, April 18, 2006  
Blogger =^..^= said...

Yuan Yuan's Art of War???

~5-Cat Style

3:13 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger CatDonna & Cats said...

Naughty General Yuan Yuan! The Mew-Nited Nations condemns this destructive act.

No Peaceful Nation should have to be so frightened that its Prime Minister hides behind cushions for safety!

We strongly encourage the General to put her effort into more constructive activities such as ripping up the Al-Toilet Paper terrorist organisation or the racist Klee Nex Klan, and scattering its remains all over the house.

This will serve as a warning against those evil groups with real WMDs!

9:39 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Zeus said...

General Yuan Yuan is my type of feline: Act now - Apologize later.

12:08 AM, April 21, 2006  
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