Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Tooth Fairy

Xin Xin:

The tooth fairy came on Fri and took away one of my teeth.

I know it looks a little yucky. The Very Energetic Tyrant said the root had decayed and would spread if I don't get it pulled out. Daddy did not want me to go through surgery too but I have no choice.

It is so painful and I can't eat my dry food now. Daddy has to handfeed me wet food every meal (yipee!!!!) but it smells a little funny. I think he put some white powder in it.

The vet said to brush the cats' teeth everyday. He made it look so easy in his office. "See, you grab the jaw and the mouth will automatically open. Then you stuff this piece of cotton wool into its mouth and wipe. Done."

Yeah right! They were all trembling in his office and let him do whatever he wanted to them. I cannot imagine catching the 5 of them every night and trying to pry their mouth open before wiping thier teeth with the cotton wool. I think it will take me at least an hour, a few scratches and lots of sweat. I mean I want to brush their teeth too but I know it's almost insanely impossible.

Any idea how I can make it less painful for them and for me?


Thursday, April 20, 2006

New addition to the family

Bon Bon:

Mummy & Daddy are so greedy. They saw Pip’s little ones and they say they want another. I mean, aren’t the 5 of us enough for them? Aren’t we already more than a handful? We don’t give enough love? Not enough head butts? Not enough purring? They have to get another one?

So they got out one night and sneaked home with this ugly looking thing. I mean, it does not even look like any one of us. OMG!!! Why do they have to bring home such a hideous looking thing?

The only good thing is he doesn’t move, smell or monopolise Mummy & Daddy’s time with us. Oh well, I guess he can stay then. He looks quite cute on his good days.

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Sunday, April 16, 2006

Top story: Nation torn apart by invasion

▶ Live report from Paper Nation

▶ Additional reporting by Daddy (2005 winner of the Puleetzer Award, Journalism category)
▶ Photos by Daddy (2003 winner of the World Prezz Photo Award, War category)

The residents of the Living Room were jolted out of their beds last night at 3.37am when General Yuan “Shi Kai” Yuan launched an unantagonised surprise attack on the Paper Nation.

Rumour has been brewing for some time now when General Yuan Yuan would be planning to launch the next wave of attack since her last attack in March 2006. Residents have been prepared for the worst but the time lag between the 2 attacks have lulled all into a sense of complacency.

It has been reported that sentries on duty were fast asleep when General Yuan Yuan got into position at 3.21am and inched her way towards the Island of the Brochures resting on top of the coffee table. The first wave of attack came fast and furious as General Yuan Yuan pounded her adversary with continuous artillery rounds of Fo Shan Wu Ying Paws before sending in her well trained infantry division, the Snaring Fangs of Royal Canin, to destroy the last few pockets of resistance. These crack troops have been sent to many countries for various training and are most adept at Search & Destroy missions. They have featured in all of General Yuan Yuan’s attacks and have a much feared 100% success rate.

The Island of Brochures torn beyond recognition

The Island of the Brochures was defeated in 5 minutes before General Yuan Yuan launched a second wave of attack on the mainland of the Paper Nation on top of the dining table. The attack on the Island had alerted the sleepy Paper sentries and citizens tried to flee from the marauding Paws and Fangs. It was a relentless assault as her troops tore apart the whole country. It has been reported that some citizens of the Paper Nation have managed to escape to the neighbouring country of The Kitchen but not before suffering certain injury.

The attack has put all neighbouring countries on high military alert but some weaker countries still appear shaken by the attack.

Bon Bon of Peaceful Nation witnessed the invasion and has been scared speechless by the force of the brutal assault. She has been in hiding despite her nation being spared the massacre.

General Yuan Yuan has justified her attack by adamantly insisting that the Paper Nation has WMDs and that it is planning on invading the Living Room any time soon. Additional investigation and probing by various parties and this reporter have however not found any WMDs possessed by the Paper Nation.

General Yuan Yuan: I’ll say it again. Paper Nation has WMDs.


The dreaded trip

Xin Xin:
When Mummy brought out the box from the storeroom on Fri morning, I was so happy. Another place to sleep. Yea!!! But the others were not enthusiastic at all, especially Kim Kim. She went under the sofa as soon as she saw the box. Why is she so scared? It's just another box to investigate, right?

Bon Bon:
That Xin Xin is so stupid. Stupid. I knew what was going to happen as soon as I saw that thing again. Only thing is I'm not sure who will it be this time.

Xin Xin:
Oh! Another lazy Sat morning. Mummy & Daddy came back from breakfast and started acting funny. They were whispering to each other and looking all over the house.

Bon Bon:
Uh oh...It's not going to be good news anymore. Better hide first. Just in case. But that fat pig Kim Kim and dull boy Chang Chang had taken up all the space under the sofa throw. But I think if I squeeze myself into that little corner and keep real still, they probably won't see me. I'll turn on my invisible mode again. Hopefully it won't fail me this time.

Xin Xin...Xin Xin...come here...where are you? Ahh...gotacha...*clang, shut door*. Ok, the next one...You see her *asking Mummy*? Where is she? *looks under sofa* No. *flips up sofa throw and evil grin* Gotcha!!!


Bon Bon:
My invisible mode did not work again... Waaahhh!!!!!


Venue: At the house of the Very Energetic Tyrant

Bon Bon:
Mummy & Daddy were very happy I gained 0.5kg. That's the only good news.

The Very Energetic Tyrant found a speck of flea dropping on my fur and concluded I had fleas. I tell you. I don't have fleas. That dropping probably came off that big smelly retriever he just saw before me. I DON'T HAVE FLEAS. I DON'T HAVE FLEAS. I DON'T HAVE FLEAS.

Other than that, I'm in the pink of health.

And oh, he poked something into my leg. It hurt me so bad. But I was a brave girl. I did not cry. I just shivered and cursed that he will get poked real soon too.

Xin Xin:
Heehee...I grew fatter again. I'm now 4.15kg. But it's all muscles, no fat. Muscles for running and jumping.

I'm not scard of the Very Energetic Tyrant. Me, Xin Xin, am not afraid of anyone. I will not temble before him. No kowtowing. I will hiss and spit if he dares to touch me.

But nope, it never happened that way.

I got poked too. And I have to come back for a tooth extraction. The Very Energetic Tyrant said I have a decaying tooth. What rubbish! But Mummy & Daddy seemed to agree with him. I'm so scared.

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Quiz revealed

Yuan Yuan:

I always thought that my butt looks cute but I had no idea it looks so cute. If you make it much bigger, it'll look like a flower. No?

Daddy says my butt hole is the cutest. Hehehe... I like...


Thursday, April 13, 2006


Yuan Yuan:

What do you think this resemble? It's something related to us.


Monday, April 10, 2006


Kim Kim:

This photo was taken many many moons ago when I was a 2 year old.

I still sleep like this nowadays, just that I am a bit rounder everywhere. Daddy says I look like Superman flying in this pose. I think I look more like Hercules flexing his big big muscles while he posed for the girls. What do you think? *care to rub my tummy?*

And then I saw this (2nd pic). She (?) sleeps exactly like me. She even looks like me somewhat. Don't we look alike? Is she my long lost sister LuLu? Waaaahhh...I want to see my sister again.


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Little lioness

Yuan Yuan:

From this:

To this:

It took Mummy & Daddy an hour to do the lattern and it took me only a few minutes to dismantle it. Aren't I great? hehe... I have even greater achievements like newspapers, bills.

That's why I am also known as 狮子 (sounds like 撕纸).

Do I look like him?



Sunday, April 02, 2006

Click Clog Click Clog

Chang Chang: Hey girls, do you know doggies blog too you know. I read it from the newspaper (The Sunday Times, Lifestyle section dated 2 Apr 06 but cannot link to site ‘cos newspaper people money face. No pay money = no password = no reading. But not my kitty business lah. I am just a cat) today.

*gasps all around*

Xin Xin: You mean you read? *snigger*

Kim Kim: Boy boy, don’t bluff us lah. You are so not intelligent, how can you be literate?

*Bon Bon rolling on the floor, still laughing hysterically*

Chang Chang: *fuming liao* Of course I read lah. You think why I lie on the newspaper everyday when Daddy is reading. I can sense the words via my super kitty power paw pads (S.K.P.P.P) you know. But of course the sayanging from Daddy is a bonus lah. Hehehehe…

Yuan Yuan: What talking you? Newspaper is good for shredding only *continues shredding the free Lian He Zao Bao which no one reads*.

Kim Kim: So, what did the newspaper write about?

Chang Chang: Aiyah, some of our doggy friends are writing blogs and the reporter wrote an article on it, as if it’s something new like that. Our kitty friends have been blogging so long already and the reporter said she was not able to find a “clog” written from our perspective.

Xin Xin: Obviously she has not done enough research or is just lazy like you. Our clogs are all over the web.

Bon Bon: Aiyah, who cares whether she write about clogs or not. No one except for our Mummies & Daddies care about us kitties. Other people always think that we are non responsive dau animals what. You know hor, even this thing called the Hideous Donkey Bugger call us nomadic animals which shed fur and dirty the place.

Kim Kim: What nomadic animals??? Obviously Hideous Donkey Bugger is dumb or just plain ignorant. We are not nomadic!!! We have our own territory and will defend it if there are outsiders. Why would we be nomadic when we have secured a good food source? Look at our lion, tiger, leopard and cheetah big brothers and sisters. They are not nomadic, and they patrol their territory to secure their food source from the other guys. Though we are just smaller versions of them, we behave exactly like them in this aspect.

Bon Bon: Yah lor. Say we shed hair. Our doggy friends also shed hair what. And we do our business in the litter box. We are so clean you know *continues preening*.

Yuan Yuan: *smell smell armpit* Heehee, I smell so nice today and everyday. Maybe we should send some money to Hideous Donkey Bugger so that it can subscribe to SCV’s Animal Planet, National Geographics and Discovery Channel so that it can learn a little more about us and other animals.

Xin Xin: Aiyah, no use one lah. It won’t accept alternative views one, even when these new views are correct. It is stubborn, that’s why called Donkey what.

Chang Chang: F*** care them lah. As long as Mummy & Daddy loves us and other Mummies & Daddies love us kitties, it’s enough already.

*Kim Kim smacks Chang Chang*

Kim Kim: Tell you so many times cannot use vulgar language you still do it.

Chang Chang: Sorry mummy. I very bek cek so cannot control already. I promise I won’t do it again.

Bon Bon: Hey, I heard Pip just gave birth. Her kittens must be cute. *looking at Chang Chang* I hope they won’t give Donna Jie Jie as much trouble as you did to Mummy & Daddy.

Kim Kim: They’ll be in good hands. Donna Jie Jie is no greenhorn and Pip is an able mother. I just can’t wait to see photos of their bright blue eyes. Ok, back to sleep you all. We all need our beauty rest.

*Kim Kim sends everyone back to bed*

Yuan Yuan: *running to the computer again* Donna Jie Jie, jia you. You can do it.

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